Mindfuck nr.2

Um okay. Today ashton responded to my message which i had sent three months ago. I deleted it but it was: “I’m backkk. It’s been too long. Ah ah ah. I hope you’re okay and stuff. Superrrrrr need a catch up xx “. Excuse me but what she is like hey let me reply to something from three months ago. And what kind of shit message is that. Ugh what do i do. Do i send something back and start being friends with her again which i don’t think i want. It’s been three months you know and that’s long but ugh idk we had such a great friendship but i’ve forgotten all that actually. And the feelings i have now are resentment mixed with an i-care-but-do-not-care at the same time. I was better off without Ashton. Also, what if i start talking to her, is she going to keep walking in and out of my life again or what. I can’t have people walking in and out all the time. Hey let me leave for three months and then hey let me walk in again. But people deserve second chances so yeah…i don’t know though. But in the end, we don’t live near each other and i don’t think we’ll ever meet. Okay I give her another chance, if i don’t speak to her for another month or more, i’m done. Ashton and i never talked about how cool it would be to meet each other and things, Sara and I talk about that all the time, we talked about skyping too. Oh god skyping is like my worst fear what if we don’t get along or can’t talk with each other.

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