What a stupid thing to think

What a stupid thing to think that she actually cared enough about me to want me in her life. I guess it was just temporarily. Memory fades so quickly, I can barely remember what it was like to talk to her. But I know she showed me who I really was, she looked at me differently. We were so alike, we had so much in common and she made me feel better about myself, and with that I mean my personality, who I am.

I sent her messages on tumblr. Didn’t reply to that because she’s either ignoring me or she doesn’t receive my messages which is possible because tumblr sucks at messages. I sent her an email, approximately 4/5 days ago. No chance that she didn’t receive that one. So she’s either one of those people who never checks her email, or she really is just flat out ignoring me and doesn’t want to speak to me, which is what I assume.

All I can say: fuck.
Just that. The way we talked about our friendship. How we talked about becoming mums, about how we wanted to meet one day and still be friends in like 20 years and have our kids play with eachother. I mean, those kind of things you know. At the time I expected it could really happen, I was convinced we could be friends for a long long time, we were great friends, our friendship was the best friendship I have ever had in my life, even though it was through the internet. I already used the word were, we were. If she suddenly replies to my email I will be more than happy, but maybe I should just give up, try to forget her, before I get disappointed for a second time. It’s anger and mostly disappointment.

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