That’s strange

I don’t know what this is all about but there’s something inside me that suddenly has started to despise Ashton. I can’t place it nor do I know where it comes from. It’s strong though. We haven’t talked in a long long time, we did talk yesterday but again, she had to leave very quickly. This always happens, I don’t really care about this though. It amazes me how much I get annoyed because of how she reacts to certain things on Tumblr. Also, I feel like she’s ignoring me. At first, I only had her to talk to about how I felt, that is a change. She was like everything. If I felt bad she was the one I could talk to and I felt deep affection towards her, I still do. And it goes together with a feel of hatred and disgust which I can’t explain very well. Something that annoyed me today was how she replied to an anonymous message. The feeling that’s been bugging me for a while now too, is the fact that I just don’t seem to care. My head told me: Oh whatever you’re not going to be friends, it’s like whatever and she doesn’t care about you and she’s a bitch anyway. Why this sudden change, I just really don’t understand it. I liked her so much when we talked a lot, almost everyday. And now, what’s left? Not much anymore and I do really hope I regain it because it would be great to feel the same way and to just have the feeling of truly having a good friend. It really felt like that before πŸ™‚ Hm, maybe re-reading old conversations helps me with it, I’m going to give that a try πŸ™‚

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